December 2009
90 posts
scars.
i’ve got scars.
big and small.
shallow and deep.
on the surface and underneath.
physical and mental.
my body and mind has been wounded more times than my ten fingers and equal toes can count. so i’ve began keep track with the rest of my body. the holes in my ears from when i needed to feel something other than the ache that attached itself to my spirit. instead my lobes are adorned with...
i've got great friends.
3 tags
i want a fort in my room.
pillows
blankets
tapestries
…pending
ariele: someone told me that this month is like, "make your favorite pokemon your profile pic" month or something
jessica: you did not just say that
ariele: uhhh yea i did. i thought it was interesting?
jessica: thank god you're dressed cute haha
ariele: well damn
4 tags
4 tags
4 tags
dear thelonious martin,
your mixtape made me follow you due to the 49.9 minutes of instrumental eargasms you have provided me with.
jah bless.
this year i:
moved out, into a house by the beach.
finally got independence from my parents while gaining a new appreciation for their never ending willingness to help me with the trials & tribulations i am experiencing from living on my own
finished my sixth semester and actually have an idea of what i want to do with my life. very vague and still very much undecided but i have a feeling it’ll be...
happy new year.
i was going to sum up my year, but i think my tumblr has done that for me. going through all of my posts i realized that i have mainly written about all the bad things that have been going on in my life. though it makes me feel like a downer, it also makes me feel better because i have gotten it all out of my system. it’s a good feeling. what a difference 365 days can make.
i never...
sugar magnolia by grateful dead.
woke up &...
all i want for christmas.
80s movie marathon, *NSYNC sing-a-longs, apple pie & moscoto for breakfast, shit talking with my Nana, reciting the whole jackson 5 movie with my mother. christmas was mos def fun times, alot chiller than previous years. all i need now is some nonversation and lovin.
3 tags
1 tag
fuckyeahfionaapple:
ladidaladidalala:
Fiona...
i
jason: what do you want for christmas?
jason: money...clothes...
me: hoooooeeeeeessss
jason: aaayyyyoooooooooo! now ya talkin'
me: i suppose
jason: okay stop.
me: i just wannnna beeee
jason: you just wannna beee by yourself *closes door*
me: -____-
this weekend my mother and i made vows to try things we’ve never done before. that is our shared promise of 2010. i am happy that she brought this is up and proud that she is ready to step out of her comfort zone.
i am getting tatted tomorrow.
after work. i have put it off for too long. i need to get tatted like seriously. xmas gift to myself.
eight.
weakness is going back to something that has proven time and time again to be bad for you. cowardliness is acknowledging this and not making a change. cowardliness is accepting the fact that you are settling. cowardliness is getting the not “better” that you convince yourself that you deserve. i may be weak but fortunately, i am not the coward. and i damn sure am not the weak coward.
seven.
i really dislike the connotations that come with the mention of you. so many things in my life are alluded to you. it is sickening. i hate the now mutual acquaintances. i hate the mutual use of language used to describe you. i hate the most common shade of the spectrum flooding the ground we all walk on.
dear adrien brody, i looooooove you.
just finished The Pianist again and it further reminded me of your amazingness. you are so beautiful. now to watch Love The Hard Way for the 42458th time. mmmm adrien brody as bad boy scum…loves it. panty drooooool.
1 tag
six.
i don’t mind you not being there for me when i need you. after what i told you. after telling you how this is making me feel. i have my family. i have people who actually care. i will be fine.
6 tags
1 tag
five.
i went from she to her slowly, it’s been a gradual change. but quick enough for me to realize that i don’t care. i won’t allow myself to care.
deeeez:
easilybroken:
Boyz II Men-Water Runs...
brain-food:
Goo Goo Dolls | iris
And I don’t...
christmas list:
dr martens black patent leather 1914 14 eye boots
a new journal
a backpack
chanel blue satin nail polish
colorful bobbi pins
cool poster for my bedroom
super uber comfy, obnoxiously warm bedspread
1 tag
four.
i keep my body moving so my mind doesn’t have to work. no stress over things that are worth less. i avoid green grass, shake spring from my mind and ignore the fact that winter brings nothing but cold memories. i don’t stop to admire the flowers because they no longer grow on the ground i walk on, as you told me before. but it’s okay because truthfully i never liked flowers and i...
1 tag
three.
i am letting my love for you go. i am letting the hurt i feel go. i am letting the pain of discontentment go. i am letting the disappointment of sleepless nights go. i am the flood of unshed tears go. i am letting the heartache of knowing that i have never made love go. i am letting the anger of realizing that you fucked me with no regards to my pleasure go. i am letting the annoyance of catering...
thursday
i feel like shit.
i am completely drained. finished with school til january and i want nothing more than to sleep the day away. i am so fucking tired. it’s my day off but i am convinced that i need to work because i want money. i realllllly want to go to work but i seriously can’t handle anything but laying in my bed. i feel like i have a hangover. damn, i feel like shit. i need...
two.
i am throwing away every journal i have kept since last december. i was in a very bad place for majority of the year and documented it heavily and holding onto those things just does not seem productive at all. if i had the balls i would mail them off because i think then i would finally be completely understood, but i just want to move on. it is a shame because i spend a lot of money on my...
1 tag
one.
you told me that you liked to write, so i thought of words to help you line your composition pages. cited thoreau thoroughly and plagued my speech with plath in hopes that my tongue would awaken the literature that laced your weary mind. spoke delicate faux nothings, memorized for late night conversations with intentions of inciting the urges of your dormant hands. but leftover language of lovers...
your absence in my time of need is real eye...
in 2010 i plan to
make a short film
make it to france
buy more canvases, more paints
learn to use sewing machine
be less emotional, more mobile
fucking travel
be broke but happy
wear amazing clothes
“i thought i saw your potential, guess that’s what made me dumb.”
– (via le-nastee)
we're drifting apart and i'm becoming okay with...
just woke up from the most horribly intense and heartbreaking dream of the year.
thank you for your honesty, now fuck off and die.
where have all the beautiful women gone?
i’m surrounded by pretty girls with pretty words spilling off their tongues and it’s an ugly world. i can’t relate. i need more sylvia’s and virginia’s to remind me that i am not alone. i don’t feign happiness, i find joy in being melancholy. people tell me that i am wrong for feeling this way but they are the ones who don’t see the beauty in overcoming...
If God is a DJ Life is a dance floor Love is the rhythm You are the music If God is a DJ Life is a dance floor You get what you’re given It’s all how you use it
pieces
deladom:
and pieces and pieces and pieces and pieces and pieces and pieces all holding eachother up til they all get tired and it all breaks d o w n
good night.
i wish i could be held right now. my hands most importantly. things are catching up to me and i just wish i didn’t have to do it alone. ah welp, overall nice night. feeling like i just don’t factor. enough downing for the night since i won’t be tended to.